Thursday, 5 December 2013

10 Tips for Reading Body Language

Attention is the basis for effective interpretation of non-verbal communication. Constantly watch the gestures, facial expressions, postures of the person. It is the only way to be able to consolidate and improve this skill.

You need to remember that the signs of cheating as such do not exist: there is no single gesture, facial expression or involuntary muscle contractions which by itself would mean that the person is lying. Gestures, posture, facial expressions, voice, expressing the fear and anxiety of an innocent person can be observed in a liar. It is the observation in the context that helps distinguish the fear of groundless accusations from the fear of being exposed.

Some movements are almost impossible to control. Such as pulling down the corners of the mouth, which is very difficult to portray without experiencing negative emotions.

These are individual non-verbal signals peculiar to a particular person. To determine these signals, you need to know the person well enough. For example, if your friend bites his lips or strokes his hand before the interview or examination, it is a sign of excitement which reveals lack of confidence. In any future stressful situation the same signs will show up again.

The basic behavior pattern includes one’s body movements, posture, facial expressions peculiar to a person in the state of comfort or everyday life. We cannot see the deviations if we do not know what it looks like in the normal state.

In other words, consider the characteristic movements in the complex, draw conclusions on the basis of a number of credible and expressive gestures.

These may be gestures of uncertainty, and vice versa gestures of openness (or gestures of confidence) if the situation changes and the person feels comfortable and confident. If he is not sure of his words or actions, it will be expressed in the body language.

The skill of recognition of false or deceptive nonverbal signals comes with experience. We can meet people who know and confidently use non-verbal means of communication, using the necessary gestures to convince us of their honesty. Try to notice the contradictions in the body language and behavior of such people. You need to understand what kind of person is before you.

For example a person who wants to convince others of his sincerity will use gesture of open hands, but if at the same time his legs are closed it is likely that he is lying.

It will help you focus on the elements of behavior that can play the most important role in decoding nonverbal messages.

Conventionally, the human condition can be divided into comfort (satisfaction, happiness, relaxation) and discomfort (displeasure, stress, anxiety). The ability to distinguish between these two categories will give you an opportunity to understand the true feelings of a person and the ability to draw conclusions on what are the reasons of this condition.


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Your Subconscious Mind Can Do Anything: How to Use Its Power

The most important thing about the subconscious mind you need to know is that it is always “on”. That is, it is active day and night, regardless of whether you are doing. The subconscious mind controls your body. You cannot hear this silent inner process with your conscious effort. You need to start taking care of your subconscious mind. It is vital to maintain your mind in a state of expectation of only good events and make the usual mode of your thinking based solely on loyalty, justice and love.


Faith and belief are the foundation of the subconscious. Do not forget that “you will be rewarded according to your faith”.


A Protestant minister who suffered from lung cancer wrote about his methods of transferring thoughts of perfect health into his subconscious mind: “Two or three times a day, I put my body and soul in a relaxed state, repeating these words: “My feet are completely relaxed, my legs are relaxed. Right now my stomach muscles are relaxing. My heart is beating quietly, my breathing is calm and relaxed. My head is completely relaxed, my whole body is completely relaxed and calm.” After about five minutes, when I got into a drowsy, sleepy state, I repeated: “The perfection of the God’s plan finds its expression in me. My subconscious mind is filled with thoughts of that I have perfect health. My image is spotless before God.” This priest managed to heal himself.


Here are some brief recommendations to help you use your subconscious power for your best:


1. Your subconscious mind not only controls all the processes of the body, but also knows the answers to the various questions and can solve many problems.


2. Before going to bed, refer to your subconscious mind with any specific request and soon you will see its miraculous power in action.


3. Anything that is captured in your subconscious will directly affect you in the form of emotions, circumstances and events. Therefore, you need to watch closely what thoughts and ideas govern your mind.


4. All experiences arise from unfulfilled desires. If you are “fixated” on various issues and problems, thus will be the reaction of your subconscious mind.


5. When you have a specific goal or dream, consciously repeat this statement: “I believe that the power of the subconscious, which gave me this desire, will embody it in me now.”


6. Stress, anxiety and fear can disrupt the natural rhythm of breathing, heart rate and work of any other part of the body. Cultivate in your subconscious mind thoughts of health, peace and harmony, and all the functions of the body will return to normal.


7. Fill your subconscious with expectations of the best experiences and emotions, and your thoughts will become a reality.


8. Imagine a positive outcome of your problems, fully feel the enthusiasm from what has happened. All your fantasies and feelings are clearly accepted by your subconscious and then implemented in life.


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10 Real Reasons That Lie Behind Your Negative Emotions

When you do not get what you want, you can unconsciously cause a sense of anger in you in order to force another person to submit to you. So, anger helps you take control of the situation. Anger helps take the upper hand in the dispute, or take revenge for your failures. Anger can also be used to protect your rights. Anger helps us give the enemy to understand that he must retreat. Anger with yourself can be a way to force yourself to do something, get down to a task.

This is our way of expressing dissatisfaction with ourselves, our achievements. It can also be a form of manifestation of compassion. For example, when you sympathize with what happened to someone and use sadness to express your attitude and reaction.

This is a weak form of anger. It occurs when someone’s behavior provokes you and makes you nervous. It helps us stop the stagnation and encourage ourselves to action. Behind all cases of irritation, lies the desire to bring the situation under control. That is, we get irritated when everything goes wrong and not as we said.

It is a form of self-punishment. Sometimes it helps us avoid responsibility for our mistakes. Sometimes guilt is a form of manifestation of superiority: “I’m so highly developed that I even suffer about my mistakes.”

Feeling of guilt is a very destructive emotion, which signals the need to change something about ourselves. You need to figure out where it came from: forced upon you by your values or indeed you have done something icky. Then you need to analyze the cause of your action, sincerely forgive yourself and promise that this will not happen again. It will be good if you compensate the damage or apologize to those you offended.

Disappointment is a manifestation of discontent in those situations when you do not get what you want.

These emotions are associated with the instinct of self-preservation. Their mission is to protect us, preventing dangerous situations. Fear “paints” pictures of unpleasant surprises and obstacles, our failure, bankruptcy. But its goal is not to disturb you, but to help: to warn of danger, to show the real situation, to indicate the hidden pitfalls, so that you are ready for the difficulties. It is necessary to find a grain of truth in these emotions. Then they change the polarity, charge us with energy and motivate to action.

It occurs when multiple efforts to achieve something do not bring the desired results. Desperation is a deep depression, which gives us the excuse to desist from further attempts.

This is a mild form of rebellion against something. As a rule, it manifests itself in those who do not have the power or the ability to rebel openly. It is a passive manifestation of force and disagreement.

It is also a form of acceptance of control. It is when you fall out of the flow of life, and the others can get nothing from you, so they take over your duties. Sometimes depression is a passive way of expressing anger. It becomes an instrument of sophisticated manipulation of others, and works perfectly, creating a sense of guilt for the person to whom it is addressed.

It may signal that you have to afford to take time off work. Or there is a persistent inner need to give up something. Maybe you’re just tired.


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5 Habits That Will Boost Your Willpower

We all struggle with ourselves at times. Many times it is hard for us to make decisions, and finally we get stuck in life situations unable to find the way out.


In her new book, the author Katie Morton analyzes the habits that strengthen willpower. Here they are:


How can you know if you should “give in” or “resist” if you do not first know what the desired result of what you seek is? Clear goals leave no room for negotiations.


We cannot control everything, but we can control ourbehavior. The truth comes from within, and our choices reflect our beliefs. If you believe that something is too difficult to accomplish, then you will probably do likewise and will not to see any results.


Changes make us feel uncomfortable, and when faced with an obstacle we usually give up. In fact, we see it as an excuse to avoid any change.


We get trapped in bad habits when we blame circumstances and those around us for things we actually can control. People who have strong willpower take responsibility for their actions and habits in their lives.


When fear overwhelms us, we remain trapped in the safety of our thoughts and habits. But we have to take risks to get what we want.


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5 Simple Components of a Perfect Morning

Cannot bring yourself to wake up and go to work? Each morning turns into a nightmare? Tired of looking for a suitable motivation technique for waking up and still every morning you hate the whole world? To make your morning good, these 5 simple but effective components are needed:


It is not necessary to immediately turn into a professional athlete and put a bunch of unrealistic goals such as the number of sit-ups and push-ups or a certain distance to run. Start simple: each morning in all weather and at any mood, 10 minutes after waking up out of bed do a little workout with smooth movements, and then gradually increase the pace. The load, number and variety of exercises should be gradually increased every 3 days by adding new elements and movements. Strength exercises and heavy loads should be left for the second half of the day: do not try to wake yourself up with strength training. A proper morning exercise works better than any coffee and antidepressants or stimulants.


Morning shower should last no longer than 15 minutes. This is a quick way to refresh your mind and body, finally wake up and reinforce that boost of energy you got after 15-30 minutes of morning warm-up exercises.


Always take your breakfast, since it is the most important meal and the start of your day. Not only your mother and grandmother agree on the importance of the breakfast, but also eminent dieticians, therapists and doctors working with athletes and the military.


Emotional charge for your body is no less important than food. Something invigorating, rhythmic but unobtrusive should be your background music. Avoid listening to the radio or watching the TV with their advertising and news about politics and accidents! Start your morning with positive music, not with disturbing and negative influences of the media.


It is the final component of a good morning on our list, but not the least in importance. Even if you need just 20-30 minutes to get to your place of work or study, prefer to make this journey on foot.


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People Treat You According to What You Think about Yourself

Once Sir Francis Galton, one of the most notable figures in the history of psychology, decided to conduct a kind of experiment. Before his daily walk through the streets of London, he persuaded himself: “I am a disgusting person and everyone in England hates me!” After that, he concentrated on this belief for a few minutes and then went for a walk as he usually did.


However, it just seemed that everything was going as usual. In fact, the following happened: at every step, Francis caught queasy and contemptuous glances of passers on him. Many turned away from him, and a couple of times he heard coarse language in his address. In the port one of the movers, when Galton passed him by, hit the scientist with his elbow so much that he plopped down in the mud.


It seemed that even the animals had this hostile attitude towards him. As the scientist passed by a harnessed horse, it kicked him in the thigh, so that he fell to the ground again. Galton tried to elicit some sympathy from eyewitnesses, but to his surprise, people were on the side of the animal.


Galton hurried home, without waiting until his thought experiment would lead to even more serious consequences.


This true story is described in many psychology textbooks. From it we can draw two important conclusions:


1. People treat you according to what you think about yourself.
2. No need to inform others about your self-esteem and emotional state. Be sure that they feel it anyway.


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8 Weird But Effective Exercises for Brain Power

In 1936, the American writer Dorothy Brandt in her book «Wake Up and Live» offered some fun exercises for the brain training to help you make your mind sharper and more flexible. These exercises are aimed to get you out of your usual environment, show a different perspective (even a different reality, if you want) and create a situation that will require ingenuity and creative solutions.


1. Spend 1 hour a day without saying anything, just answering direct questions in your usual surroundings, without creating the impression that you are offended or in a bad mood. Behave as normally as possible. Do not make any comments and do not give in to attempts to extract information from you.


2. For 30 minutes a day, think of one and only subject, being completely focused on it. You can start with five minutes.


3. For 15 minutes a day keep conversation without using the words “I, me, my, mine.“


4. Allow your interlocutor to talk only about himself without realizing it. Using polite questions, get him back to the mainstream of mutual conversation so that he does not feel any pressure or negative emotions.


5. Try to talk only about yourself without boasting, without complaining and without making your interlocutors get bored.


6. Make a strict plan for two hours a day and follow that plan.


7. Give yourself 12 random tasks, such as walking 20 miles from home without using any means, stay 12 hours without food, have breakfast in the most unexpected and unlikely place that you can find, not to talk all day except of giving answers to the questions.


8. During the day, say “yes” to all questions and suggestions (within reasonable bounds).


These exercises may seem silly and useless, but in fact they can bring much new in your life and get to know yourself better.


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